Day 31: Memories...

Day 31 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: A Vivid Memory

Since I was a kid, I was told that I had a great memory.  My parents or other adults would tell me that they were impressed by how much I remembered and the detail.  When I'm not suffering from a bout of Mommy Brain these days, my memory is still pretty good.  I sometimes surprise myself with what I remember - a small detail, the clothes that some one was wearing, or even a certain smell.  This weekend kicks off my little sister Laura's birthday week so I thought I would pay omage to her with recounting one of my first memories of her.  And yes, we celebrate birthdays for a whole week in my family.  I plan on continuing this with Eloise too!

Laura Michelle Clark was born on June 3, 1985 at Christ Hospital in Oak Lawn, IL.  I'm not sure how much I knew what it meant that parents were having a baby or how much it was going to affect me.  When my parents called to tell me the good news that I had a little sister, I said, "Okay" and promptly hung up the phone.  I guess it didn't take me long to figure out that things were going to be different.  When we were at the hospital, I remember seeing her and still not really getting it.  When they changed her diaper for the first time in front of me, I told my parents to leave her at the hospital because she was dirty.  Sorry Lo Lo! During one of the first days at home, while my mom was changing her diaper, I remember seeing her belly button and thinking that was gross too.  Again, sorry Lo Lo.  I have no idea why these few memories are so vivid in my mind 28 years later, but they are. 

28 years later, that little sister that I wasn't too sure about has become one of my best friends.  Our relationship has evolved through the years.  We started off as competitors, competing for the attention of our parents.  We quickly became playmates - having tea parties, playing dress up, riding bikes, playing Doctor/Veternarian, playing with friends and swimming until we were completely water logged.  At some point, that little sister decided that she was "too cool" for her big sister and we went our separate ways for a while.  All it took was a broken heart in high school for that little sister to change her tune and become my protector.  All the years of wanting her to like me paid off and we were friends again.  We started to share secrets again, vent our about parents, develop inside jokes, and act as sisters should.  Our relationship only grew stronger after I graduated high school.  Through the years, we have nutured our friendship and strengthened our bond as sisters.  When I was away at college, that little sister told me she missed me.  When I graduated from Graduate school, that little sister told me she was proud of me.  When I got married, that little sister made sure that everything was perfect.  When I was struggling with trying to get pregnant, that little sister wiped my tears.  When I was pregnant, that little sister showered me with love and thoughtful gifts for her niece on the way.  When I had Eloise, that little sister redefined what it meant to be a good aunt.  When I questioned if I'm doing everything right as a new mother, that little sister told me that my baby was perfect.

Here's to all the memories of past, present, and future...Happy Birthday to the BEST little sister that anyone could ask for! 

Day 30: Letting Go

Day 30 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: React to this term: Letting Go.

Letting Go?  I sometimes cannot.  Why?  Because I obsess...perseverate...mull over.  In some situations I even dream about it - whatever "it" is.  I need to do better.  I think some of this goes back to me being a people pleaser and a control freak.  I'm always wondering did I do enough? say the right thing? say the wrong thing?  If something has affected me on an intense emotional level, I have a hard time letting go.  I know I need to accept things for what they are..."let go & let God"...and move on.  Like I said, I need to do better. 

Day 29: Sing along

Day 29 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge:  Five songs or pieces of music that speak to you or bring back memories. 

1. Everyday People - Sly & the Family Stone
This song reminds me of my childhood.  My sister & I would make up dance routines and sing along to this whole album.  And yes, I'm talking vinyl.  My parents introduced us to some great music as kids. 

2. N'SYNC
Anything by N'Sync reminds of high school.  Boy bands, Britney Spears, Christina Aguilera, & many other Disney stars turned Pop stars were huge during this time.  

3. Somewhere Over the Rainbow/What a Wonderful World - Israel Kamakawiwo’ole
This song reminds of my wedding.  As soon as I started planning my wedding, I knew that I wanted to dance to this song with my Dad.  At my bridal shower, my dad debuted a slideshow he made for me with this song playing in the background.  Throughout the year leading up to the wedding, I probably listened to this song 100 times if not more!  I still get a little teary eyed when I hear the song. 

4. Dog Days are Over - Florence + The Machine
This song reminds of the late summer/Fall of 2011 when we were in the midst of intense fertility treatments and preparations for IVF.  I loved this song before it became popular because it really lifted my spirits every time I heard it.  I loved singing along to it at the top of my lungs too!

5. Home - Phillip Phillips
This song reminds me of all things Eloise.  The first time I heard this song on American Idol, I instantly connected with it.  At the time, I was 7.5 pregnant and anticipating Eloise's arrival.  Brad also loved the song and connected it with Eloise too.  It gained even more popularity with the Olympics.  Before I had Eloise, I told Brad that would use this song for a slideshow with photos of her one day.  When Eloise was only days old, Brad did just that.  He made a beautiful slideshow with all the photos for her first few days.  Every time I hear the song, I get choked up thinking about those first few days. 

Day 28: Picture this!

Day 28 of the Blog Every Day in May: Only Pictures

Wish you could smell these lilacs in my backyard

 Wish you could hear this laugh

Wish you could taste these pancakes

Wish you could feel these soft dog ears

Day 27: Dear Reader

Day 27 of Blog Every Day in May Challenge: A letter to your readers


Dear Reader, 

First of all, thank you for taking the time to read! Sometimes I really wonder if anyone is actually reading my posts.  It's hard to believe that when I first started this blog that I kept it a secret and only shared it with a few people.  Now, I check the stats of each post from time to time and it brings a smile to my face when I see the number of views going up.  Every "like" on Facebook or comment makes my day.   Also,  I appreciate that all of you humored me and applauded the creation of ANOTHER blog for Eloise.  This Challenge has truly been just that...a challenge.  It's been great to push myself with each topic - sometimes even outside of my comfort zone.  I feel a sense of loyalty to you to get my posts up and make them as interesting as possible.Thank you for your patience when there are long lapses in time between posts.  Thank you for your support and interest in my life.  Keep reading.  


Mandy

Day 26: I saw it online!

Day 26 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: Something you read online.

What can I say, one of my guilty pleasures is to scan through the posts on Perez Hilton :)

Day 24: Worst Traits

Day 24 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: Your top 3 worst traits


1. I'm a gossip.



2. I'm an obsessive worrier.



3. I get jealous easily and about stupid things.

Day 23: Life lessons

Day 23 of the Blog Every Day in May in Challenge: Things you've learned that school won't teach you

• Take control of your life.  If you want something to happen or change in your life, take an active role in making it happen. 
• Be part of the solution, not part of the problem
• When people show you their true colors, believe them.
• Ask for help when you need it.  You don't have to wait until someone offers. 
• Say you're sorry even if you don't think you did anything wrong.
• Saying No doesn't make you a horrible person.  
• Spend the extra money on a good bra.  Trust me. 
• There is no such thing as secrets. 
• If you like it, buy it in every color.
• When someone says, "it won't hurt that bad," know that it is going to hurt bad.
• Nothing else matters when you have a baby in your arms.
• Everyone needs a good cry once in a while.
• It matters who you know.  
• Be present. 

Day 22: Soap Box

Day 22 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: Rant about something. Get up on your soapbox and tell us how you really feel. 

A photographer went to a socialite party in New York.  As he entered the front door, the host said, "I love your pictures - they're wonderful; you must have a fantastic camera."  He said nothing until dinner was finished, then: "That was a wonderful dinner; you must have a terrific stove." - Sam Haskins.

That pretty much sums up one of my biggest pet peeves about photography.  It really drives me crazy when people say something like to me after looking at some of the photos I take.  Yes, I have a good camera but I the key is knowing how to actually use it and make it do what you want.

Day 21: Favorite Posts

Day 21 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: list of links to your favorite posts in your archives.

My 1st blog post

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2010/10/and-blog-is-born.html

A post on friendship

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2011/09/4-things-and-maybe-few-more.html

The most fun I've ever had with a theme & props for a photo shoot

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2011/12/whos-cookin-in-kitchen.html

A letter to my baby girl when I was pregnant

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2012/08/letter-to-my-baby-girl.html

A photo tour of Eloise's nursery

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2012/08/babies-are-hoot-tour-of-our-owlforest.html

Wynnie's newborn photo shoot - The post with the most visits: 274!

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2013/03/welcome-to-world-wynn.html

My DIY maternity shoot

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2012/06/diy-photo-shoot.html

Ode to my Sister Wives

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2011/03/sister-wives.html

1st paying gig as a photographer

http://mandysewsnappy.blogspot.com/2011/02/what-happens-when-shutterbug-meets.html

Day 20: Struggle

Day 20 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: Get real. Share something you're struggling with right now. 

Ever wonder if Mommy Guilt is a real thing?  Just keep reading.  Like every new mom, I've got my fair share of struggles.  How long should I continue breastfeeding?  I've made it this far - can I make it to the 1 year mark?  Does Eloise miss me when she is at daycare?  Am I doing enough to help her with her development?  Am I feeding her the right food?  Is she teething?  Is it just a cold or something worse?  Will she sleep past 5am?  Can I really do it all by being a working mom?  On my best days, I know I've got this Mom thing down.  But on my worst days, these are just a few of the questions that go thru my mind.  

Along with being a new mom, I'm a new boss.  I got promoted a work to Supervisor & Program Manager when I was 7.5 months pregnant.   Have you heard phrase, "Like a Boss?" I often think of that phrase when I'm trying to navigate the challenges of being a boss.  It was hard to go from being a frontline social worker to the boss.   It's funny how the number of people that you can call your work friends quickly dwindles once you have the title of boss.  My social network at work has now become my fellow supervisors.  As I come up on my 1 year anniversary of my promotion, I've been reflecting on how hard my job can be at times.  It's hard to give all my employees the same amount of attention.  Do I play favorites?  It's hard to get a group of staff to see my value as a program manager and supervisor when my predecessor was so adored.  Am I making an impact?  Do they respect me?  It's hard to make changes when everyone is comfortable.  Do my staff support my vision?  At the end of the day, I know that I'm doing a good job...great job.  

Thakur Family Photo Shoot

Family Photo Shoot with The Thakurs

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Beautiful Family of 3...at least until September!!

Day 19: Bloggy Love

Day 19 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: Five of your favorite blogs and what you love about them.


1. Hollywood Housewife

I came across this blog from one of my favorite authors, Shauna Niequist.  The "Hollywood Housewife" is Shauna's best friend.  I love her style, her candor, and her outlook on life.  

2. Little Baby Garvin

I came across this blog when I was pregnant and it is where I got the idea to do the weekly chalkboard photos throughout my pregnancy. The blog is great for all things baby/mommy and decorating/party planning. 

3. Mommy Shorts

I think I stumbled across this blog when I was pregnant.  I love this fellow mom's photos and her sense of humor.  

4. Young House Love 

I can't even remember how I stumbled upon this blog but it is great.  I get tons of inspiration when it comes to DIY projects and decorating.  

5. Running From the Law

I've gushed about this blog numerous times during this Challenge - it's great! 

Day 18: Childhood Memory

Day 18 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: Tell a story from your childhood. Dig deep and try to be descriptive about what you remember and how you felt.

When I think about my childhood, my mind runs through many great memories of birthday celebrations, dance parties in the living room, family vacations, and fun times with friends.  When I think about a time in my childhood that had the greatest impact on my life it would be the loss of my older brother, Robbie.  

Robbie was born on December 7, 1979 with severe physical and mental disabilities.  By the time that I was born 2.5 years later, Robbie was at Misericordia where he was able to receive the specialized care that he needed.  I believe that most of my first memories as a child involved Robbie.  I remember going to Misericordia...I remember the smell of the food there, what the hallways looked like, and what his room looked like.  I remember sitting on his lap when he was in wheelchair and feeling special.  I remember that my sister and I used to fight over whose bed he got to sleep in on the weekends when he came home.  I remember the way he smiled.  I remember how soft his hair was.  

Robbie died when I was 6 years old.  He was 9.  I remember when my parents told me.  I remember getting to leave school early and my teacher Mrs. Goldman giving me a hug.  I remember going to the funeral home with my parents, my Grandma Fitz, and my sister.  I wore a tshirt that had a print of the front of the doctor's labcoat on the front.  It was my favorite shirt because I wanted me to be doctor.  I remember my Grandma Fitz telling me and my sister that my parents may cry and that is was okay to h.  I remember that night being the first time that I saw my parents cry.  On the day of the funeral, I remember being afraid to look in the casket but I did anyway.  Still to this day, I think about that moment anytime that I go to a funeral.  When the priest read the eulogy, I thought it was cool that he said my name.  Give me a break, I was 6.  After the funeral & cemetery, we went back to our house for the luncheon.  I remember running around with my cousins, playing my yellow recorder, and eating whole black olives and pickles.  

What I can't remember is how we actually got through this time.  It was hard, harder than you could imagine.  At 30 years old, it is still hard.  My parents always told me that Robbie was my guardian angel and keeping that in mind makes it a little easier.  Love you Robbie - forever & always. 

Day 17: These photographs

Day 17 of the Blog Every Day in May: Favorite photo of yourself and why

Shocker - I couldn't pick just one photo!  However, I did pick some of my favorite photos from milestone moments with Brad.

My favorite photo from our wedding

Our announcement that we were expecting

37 Weeks Pregnant

Brad captured this moment for me after being in labor for 19 hours

Our 1st family photo with baby girl that was 8 hours old

None of those photos would have been possible if this photo below had not happened.  This is Brad & I with Doug & Jodi, who set us up, on the weekend that we met.  A friend of theirs took this photo and emailed it to Jodi exactly 2 years ago today (no joke - I still have the email) with this note:

I remember watching a show about Steve Irwin, the Crocodile Hunter, and they interviewed his wife and she showed the camera a photograph of the day she met her future husband and she said, "Not a lot of people have documentation like this."  I'm pretty sure this is from the day Brad and Mandy met.  Maybe they might appreciate it.

To answer you question Mike - we do appreciate it. 

Day 16: Lot in Life

Day 16 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: Something difficult about your "lot in life" and how you're working to overcome it.


When I first read all the topics for this challenge, I knew that this one was going to take some extra thought.  I guess part of the reason that this challenge topic is so hard is because I feel very grateful for the life I have and quite frankly, I'm really happy.  But since this is the topic for the day, here we go...

Being married to someone who is on call 24/7 for their job and lives the life of a physician/surgeon is hard.  There, I said it.  When it comes to taking care of our daughter Eloise, I carry the load.  It's not that Brad doesn't want to be involved with everything but when "duty" calls, he has to go.  There have been days where Brad doesn't even get to see Eloise because he has to leave the house before she wakes up and comes home after she has gone to bed.  When it comes to staying connected as a couple, we talk on the phone whenever there is a break in the day, we text (a lot), and we always ask about each other's day.  However, it's rare that are phone calls don't get interrupted by a work call.  When it comes to making plans as a family or couple or even for myself, I'm at the mercy of Brad's on-call schedule or "regular" work schedule.  As most of our friends and family know, we drive separately to almost everything in the event that he gets paged and has to go.  We often joke that there no such thing as a holiday, a weekend, or a day off when it comes to his job.  Because of this, we capitalize on any free time that he gets and make the most of it!  With all that said, Brad is one of the most family oriented people that I know.  The reason that he is so successful at his job is because he works so hard and is motivated to provide us with a great life.  Only he would work for 6 days straight yet still spend his only free time building a swing set for Eloise by himself.  It's those long hours during the week that allows us to live this comfortable life.  It's those odd hours on the weekend that allows me to buy Eloise whatever she needs without a second thought.  It's those fancy dinners with physicians that allows us as a couple to make plans for the future that I know we will see through.  So, yes, there are many days during the week that I feel like a single parent or even a lonely housewife.  But, there is never a day that I don't know that Brad loves Eloise more than any Dad has ever loved a daughter, thinks her about every second he is away from her, and yearns to be at home with her.  When it comes to me, I know that Brad is always thinking of some way to make my life easier or better.  And when he can't, he tells me how he appreciates everything I do.  This is something I've struggled with since I first met Brad because I honestly just want to be with him.  I want to sit next to him, lay next to him, & eat next to him every night.  At the end of the day, we make it work and I think we are doing a great job.  We consciously make the decision every day to love each other, be best friends, and be co-parents.  As long as Brad has this job, this will always be something that we are trying to "overcome" and so far we are doing a great job!  I love you Bradley Kalins - more than you'll ever know.   

Day 15: Day in the life

Day 15 of the Blog Every Day in May Challenge: A Day in the Life

• Alarm goes off at 5am. Big decisions immediately - hit the snooze button? nurse the baby? take a shower?
• Out the door 630-645
• Swing thru Dunkin Donuts for a Bacon Wake Up Wrap
• Drop off Eloise at daycare 715-730
• Walk over to my office and start my day as the Coordinator for Addiction Treatment Program (ATP) and Social Work Clinical Manager for Substance Abuse
• Pump 3 times throughout the day
• Pick up Eloise from daycare at 4pm
• Get home around 445 - unpack bags, bottles & everything else
• Get dinner ready for Eloise while entertaining her and keeping Piper distracted from the food & toys
• After dinner, I'll take Eloise out on her swing set or play with her inside.
• 630-645 - time for bath, books, nurse & bed
• After Eloise is asleep, it's time to clean up the dishes/bottles, make some baby food if needed, and pack her bag for the next day
• Until bedtime for me, I'll watch TV & blog

Day in life in Photos:

 6am - time to nurse the baby!

Nursey

 Driving to work

Eloise is a great co-pilot

Welcome to Hines VA Hospital!

 Let's start the day

A permanent fixture in my office - breast pump

My office

 

Best part of the work day - walking to daycare with my BFF to get our girls.

Let's go home Mom!

 Dinner time

 Piper needs a treat but I have my hands full.  Please help yourself

Chow time!

Swing Set fun with Aunt Anita tonight

Day is done & so is this blog.